Copping A Feel-Literally - a Blog Post by mc_justmc

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8/9/2018 7:26 am

Copping A Feel-Literally

I was commenting on a post by GratefulGirl69 called "Blues and Shoes" where she asks if we've ever defaced a car. It reminded me of an encounter I had.

Back in Richardson, Tx around 1979, my 1st ex and I came home one night to find our quarter pound of weed missing. A short while later a friend dropped by to let me know our mutual friend "Chad" had broke in my home and stole my weed and my guitar. I didn't even know my guitar was gone. We jump in my car and head over to some apartments where we beat on a door for a while with no response. We find Chad's car, a nice shiny black 1968 Monte Carlo, and consider that my weed may be in the trunk. My friend grabs my tire iron, I grab a pipe, and we commence to remodeling the trunk, hoping it will pop open like they always do in the movies. Having no luck we hop in my car to leave right when the Richardson police show up to investigate some "criminal mischief" reported.

It's a female cop, nothing really stands out about her except her badge and her gun. She starts asking us questions when lo and behold here comes Chad rambling about how we beat the crap out of his car. Poor innocent me replies, "why would I beat on your car, we're friends?". The cop goes over to investigate the car and I make damn sure to run my hand over the damaged trunk right in front of the cop so she can see me leaving my fingerprints everywhere.
At this point it's a he said/I said and all she wants to do is take a report and get out of the middle of our mess. As she's taking notes I reach in my back pocket for my cigarettes, she drops her clipboard and has her gun half drawn almost as fast as my hands reached for the sky. I nearly quit smoking right then and there.

Fast forward 2 later, divorced and hitchhiking, my ass shorts on, down the highway access road one night, when I hear a car pulling up behind . I turn to see it's a cop car. The car pulls up, window comes down, and I see it's the same female cop. "I can give you a ride, but I'll need to check you for warrants first". Knowing I've got a traffic warrant in Garland I it dumb and hope they can't put 2 and 2 together. We sit in the car and make small talk, she's very nice, so I don't bring up the whole Monte Carlo/cigarette/gun event. It comes back I have a warrant in Garland, and she asks if they can verify the warrant. thinking she likes my ass shorts and really wants to give that ride. A few minutes later it comes back, verified, and she informs me that I'll have to step around back of the car so she can cuff me.

I lean on the back of the car as she pats me down, basic pat down, then she reaches around to my crotch and she really starts digging around, and I really start wishing I was erect, but this whole scenario has NOT put me in any kind of mood, up until the frisky frisking. We drive to the station, she lets me sit up front with her, and we go inside for booking. Typical booking, but she tells me she's gonna let me sit with her while she fills out her report to give my Mom a chance to get there with my bail so I won't have to sit in a cell.

45 minutes we sat there and talked, my Mom isn't there so she takes me to the cell. On the way way she tells me to drop the "issued blanket" and get against the wall. confused, she grabs my arm and forcefully puts in the "frisk position". Another pat down, another extended crotch grab, another un-erect moment, then we continue on down the hall. As she opens the cell door, I say,"So if you ever want to get together sometime...", grabbing me by the shoulder she sends me flying into the cell. Slams the door. Walks away. Not a word. I guess I was disappointing to her, but in my defense, not really a turn-on getting arrested.

Synopsis: I got my weed AND my guitar back. I didn't get shot. I got felt up. Twice. Has anyone in a position of authority ever taken advantage of you? Did you mind? I know I didn't. Now where are those ass shorts... I met more women hitchhiking in those shorts than I ever did in bars.